The End of '13....on to something New
Every day, we can find new lessons in our experiences.
2013 has been full of lessons for me.
Sometimes, I wish I could go back and learn to appreciate the small things along the way.
I wish I could tell myself not to worry or stress and to just let things go.
22 has been an age of change for me.
I remember sitting here last year thinking about how great life was going to be.
I just hoped and prayed everything would somehow fall into place.
Cut to 3 months later, me crying because I don't have a job, stressed about money, worried about having a place to live, plagued with car issues, and yet--here I am.
I have a house. I have a job. I have a new car.
My life is seemingly together.
I stressed and stressed and cried and cried, thinking things would never work out for me.
Things were never going to hit a happy ending for me.
College was rough. Worse than rough.
Sometimes I'm not even sure how I made it out alive.
Working 3 jobs, barely had time for friendships, struggled to keep my grades up.
Nothing I did, dug me out of the hole I was buried in.
My friends needed me. My family needed me.
It took every ounce of my inner being to keep myself positive enough to support them.
It was a struggle that I seemed to manage with much more ease than I ever thought possible.
I did it. I don't even know how......I just DID.
Now, I look back at everything that's happened this year and laugh.
I got my first real job in April and 3 days into that, I was promoted.
After a month, I began training and got licensed as a Child Welfare Specialist.
At first, I was freaking out. I had no clue what I was doing and I never EVER wanted to do social work.
In fact, I used to swear against it.
I didn't want that profession. I didn't want a career that seemed so negative.
Thinking back on my thoughts against social work,
I really can't imagine doing anything else.
In October, I switched over and took all the children with severe, behavioral issues.
At first, it felt like a punishment.
These kids were beyond my help and I literally cried every day.
I didn't know what I was doing.
I was basically just getting beat up, physically and verbally.
It was a part of my job that I could not succeed at and there is nothing worse than going to work every day, knowing no matter what you do, you're a failure.
You can't fix these kids.
They're broken.
Thinking about life and the reality of these kids' situations, it isn't that they're broken or beyond help.
It's that no one wants to try.
One of my friends said I'm great at giving advice and supporting people.
While I was struggling in my job, he told me to give myself advice as if I were a different person.
I was confused, I didn't know what I would say.
So he asked me what I would tell someone if they doubted these kids and said they're just broken.
Suddenly, I knew the answer.
My answer was that you're only broken, when you give people permission to break you.
I needed to teach these kids to keep fighting and to not let people break them.
It's been a rough few months, but my kids have come a long way.
A coworker told me the other day that these kids need me more than they've ever needed anyone and that she was proud of how far I've come.
I laughed as I told her that these children don't need me.
In fact, it's me who needs them.
This year, I've learned that things only affect you, when you let them.
Just as, people can only break you with your own permission.
I've learned to stop giving people permission to pull on my emotions.
Sure, I still have compassion and feelings, and things still get to me at times.
But I know that no matter where I am or what I'm doing.......it IS the right place.
It's the right thing for me, because I've chosen it.
God brings us to amazing places sometimes and we often don't know where we're headed or where we're going to end up. Sometimes that's the scariest thing about life.
Not knowing the plan.
I'm a control freak and I LIKE having a plan.
But I've learned that sometimes the most beautiful thing is not knowing.Sometimes the best way to go at life, is with a smile and an open heart.
You have to have the courage to take opportunities and be brave enough to walk through life, unknowing.
Risks are what make life beautiful.
If we all knew our ending....well, that would change how we act, wouldn't it?
If I could go back and give myself advice for the things that occurred this year.....
I'd tell myself to let it go.
Don't be bothered by what's happening or what's not happening.
Relish in the small things.
Smile in chaos.
Cry when you need to.
Laugh all the time.
2013 has been full of lessons for me.
Sometimes, I wish I could go back and learn to appreciate the small things along the way.
I wish I could tell myself not to worry or stress and to just let things go.
22 has been an age of change for me.
I remember sitting here last year thinking about how great life was going to be.
I just hoped and prayed everything would somehow fall into place.
Cut to 3 months later, me crying because I don't have a job, stressed about money, worried about having a place to live, plagued with car issues, and yet--here I am.
I have a house. I have a job. I have a new car.
My life is seemingly together.
I stressed and stressed and cried and cried, thinking things would never work out for me.
Things were never going to hit a happy ending for me.
College was rough. Worse than rough.
Sometimes I'm not even sure how I made it out alive.
Working 3 jobs, barely had time for friendships, struggled to keep my grades up.
Nothing I did, dug me out of the hole I was buried in.
My friends needed me. My family needed me.
It took every ounce of my inner being to keep myself positive enough to support them.
It was a struggle that I seemed to manage with much more ease than I ever thought possible.
I did it. I don't even know how......I just DID.
Now, I look back at everything that's happened this year and laugh.
I got my first real job in April and 3 days into that, I was promoted.
After a month, I began training and got licensed as a Child Welfare Specialist.
At first, I was freaking out. I had no clue what I was doing and I never EVER wanted to do social work.
In fact, I used to swear against it.
I didn't want that profession. I didn't want a career that seemed so negative.
Thinking back on my thoughts against social work,
I really can't imagine doing anything else.
In October, I switched over and took all the children with severe, behavioral issues.
At first, it felt like a punishment.
These kids were beyond my help and I literally cried every day.
I didn't know what I was doing.
I was basically just getting beat up, physically and verbally.
It was a part of my job that I could not succeed at and there is nothing worse than going to work every day, knowing no matter what you do, you're a failure.
You can't fix these kids.
They're broken.
Thinking about life and the reality of these kids' situations, it isn't that they're broken or beyond help.
It's that no one wants to try.
One of my friends said I'm great at giving advice and supporting people.
While I was struggling in my job, he told me to give myself advice as if I were a different person.
I was confused, I didn't know what I would say.
So he asked me what I would tell someone if they doubted these kids and said they're just broken.
Suddenly, I knew the answer.
My answer was that you're only broken, when you give people permission to break you.
I needed to teach these kids to keep fighting and to not let people break them.
It's been a rough few months, but my kids have come a long way.
A coworker told me the other day that these kids need me more than they've ever needed anyone and that she was proud of how far I've come.
I laughed as I told her that these children don't need me.
In fact, it's me who needs them.
This year, I've learned that things only affect you, when you let them.
Just as, people can only break you with your own permission.
I've learned to stop giving people permission to pull on my emotions.
Sure, I still have compassion and feelings, and things still get to me at times.
But I know that no matter where I am or what I'm doing.......it IS the right place.
It's the right thing for me, because I've chosen it.
God brings us to amazing places sometimes and we often don't know where we're headed or where we're going to end up. Sometimes that's the scariest thing about life.
Not knowing the plan.
I'm a control freak and I LIKE having a plan.
But I've learned that sometimes the most beautiful thing is not knowing.Sometimes the best way to go at life, is with a smile and an open heart.
You have to have the courage to take opportunities and be brave enough to walk through life, unknowing.
Risks are what make life beautiful.
If we all knew our ending....well, that would change how we act, wouldn't it?
If I could go back and give myself advice for the things that occurred this year.....
I'd tell myself to let it go.
Don't be bothered by what's happening or what's not happening.
Relish in the small things.
Smile in chaos.
Cry when you need to.
Laugh all the time.
Don't put pressure on yourself for things to be perfect.
Your car WILL break down. And your friends WILL save you.
You will go on TERRIBLE dates. Laugh about them.
You'll be stalked--again. For crying out loud STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!
You'll find a good home.
The car you'll have, will have a sun roof. GET. EXCITED.
You'll fall in love with more kids every day.
Your job will change you. Let it.
Finally,
be whoever and whatever you want to be.
Don't let people stand in your way.
Just be you.
Your car WILL break down. And your friends WILL save you.
You will go on TERRIBLE dates. Laugh about them.
You'll be stalked--again. For crying out loud STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!
You'll find a good home.
The car you'll have, will have a sun roof. GET. EXCITED.
You'll fall in love with more kids every day.
Your job will change you. Let it.
Finally,
be whoever and whatever you want to be.
Don't let people stand in your way.
Just be you.
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