Paper Hearts

This is for my best friend...



She walks through life, insecure, plagued by the realities around her.
She feels unwanted, unloved, undesired.
In a world where women are to be chased and desired, she is left in the cold.

She texts him good morning, to which he never responds.
She calls him at night, he does not answer.
She says "I love you".
He responds with "I care about you".

She stares into the mirror every morning thinking "Maybe if I do my makeup differently today.....maybe if I change my hair...maybe if I got a nose job....maybe if I had longer eyelashes.....maybe if I had fuller lips.....maybe if I had better eyebrows.....maybe if I lost weight.........maybe if I wasn't fat.....maybe if I was taller..."
She remembers him talking about how hot those models were in that magazine,
and the actresses on tv.
She will never look like them.
That is what he wants. Those are the people he compliments.
That is what she needs to be.
She stares hard, wondering what she could change to make a difference. What can she change to make him want her? To make him love her? To make him say the words out loud?
To make him feel it?

She has told him over and over again she's had enough.
She was brave.
She told him he didn't care.
She has said it over and over again.
Yet, each time he reels her back in.
He says "I don't want to lose you. Please. We can try again. I'll be better."

He does this a lot.
She cries, decides it's time to breakup and tells him to get lost.
Quickly he delivers a beautiful speech, making her finally feel wanted, giving her the hope that maybe he does love her.
Sadly, he falls back into his old habits.

She changes her hair.
He doesn't notice.
She switches her makeup.
He doesn't notice.

He told her she needs to lose weight, validating her biggest fear.

He rejects her over and over and over again, confirming her belief that she is not good enough.
That she is not worthy of true love.
That if she were smaller she would be lovable.
That if she had better skin, better hair, fuller lips, longer eyelashes, the perfect shape, THEN she would be desirable.

Finally she breaks up with him, spiraling into a state of depression.
She is not good enough.
She will never attain true beauty.
She is not smart enough.
She is not funny enough.
She is not thin enough.
She is not pretty enough.
She doesn't deserve true love.

She is heartbroken.

He has a good life, great friends, but his girlfriend is too clingy.
She always texts him first.
He doesn't respond.
She is too needy.
She tells him she loves him.
He knows this is true, but does he love her?
It's too hard to tell.
She is so insecure.
He is tired of trying to tell her she is beautiful.
He is tired of battling yet another woman's insecurities.
Why are girls so hard on themselves?

She honestly could lose some weight.
Of course, she is beautiful.
Why does he have to tell her that every day?
Work keeps him busy and his time with friends.
She says she wants to breakup......where did THAT come from?
He wants her. Why is she doing this?
Does he love her?
He cares about her.....he wants her....he needs her.
But saying he loves her is too much.
He's done that before.
It didn't end well.

She breaks up with him.
He is so mad.
Why does she need so much from him?
 He loves her.
She is everything he wanted her to be.
He thinks to himself "she is too insecure. I can't fix that."
He gives up. Let's her call it off.

He is heartbroken.





Naomi Wolf has a quote,
“Men are visually aroused by women's bodies and less sensitive to their arousal by women's personalities because they are trained early into that response, while women are less visually aroused and more emotionally aroused because that is their training. This asymmetry in sexual education maintains men's power in the myth: They look at women's bodies, evaluate, move on; their own bodies are not looked at, evaluated, and taken or passed over. But there is no "rock called gender" responsible for that.”

Society teaches women they are not truly beautiful without perfect skin, thin, athletic builds, perfect flowing hair, makeup, smooth legs, perfect teeth, long eyelashes, etc.
Society teaches men that they should be with these women. That if you do not have a perfect woman, that you can move on and look for another.
Women are strongly attracted to personalities and often look past weight issues or flaws in skin, but are often never granted the same courtesy by men. We are told we're too fat, even when we're healthy.

Society makes us insecure. Society ruins women every day, showing us that we are not even close to true beauty. We look for reassurance from the men in our lives, hoping they can see past what society asks for. Hoping they will not only say something, but truly make us feel it.

Sure, telling a girl she is beautiful can get exhausting when she constantly disagrees.

Guys: it's a never-ending battle that you will never win.
But you have to try. You have to prove to her that society doesn't win.
You have to show her that she is wrong.
If she wants to talk to you, she isn't being "clingy".
She just wants to know you're still around and thinking about her.

Girls: try to accept his compliments. He wouldn't say it if he didn't mean it.
Give him a little space.
Don't make him prove all of his affections to you 24-7.
Trust that he cares when he says he does.

And if they're not saying "I love you"....then they probably don't.
If you're not truly brave enough to say it, then you don't deserve it.

We're all just a bunch of paper hearts, trying not to get torn.




This is one of my favorite songs. I believe this is what love should feel like. (: