But in the end, it's always beautiful
Each morning when I wake up, there are a few seconds where I don't recognize where I am. I start to flutter my eyelids, absorbing my surroundings, and for a moment, I wonder where I am.
I wonder about this room, this house, this town, this state, and the world I am in.
I think about who I am and what I'm doing.
In those moments, before I completely grasp my purpose, I'm hopeful for what I could be. I start to think about the dreams I have for myself and all the people that have touched my life. And I feel completely relaxed, knowing there are always endless possibilities for how my life could go.
Sadly, after those few seconds, the turmoil of my messy life comes back to me and I remember the reality I live in. A place where every dream takes money, and earning that is hard.
A place where not everyone believes in me or has faith in my abilities.
A place where equality is only truly driven by the few, while the many accept society for what it is.
A place where dating is just as painful as being single.
A place where education comes at a cost, and for me- a true struggle.
I look at the reality of my life and the dreams I have, and I just feel stuck.
I want everything to carry a meaning.
Every person to be significant.
Every situation to be a lesson.
And sometimes, it just.....isn't.
I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, but sometimes the reason isn't what I think.
Sometimes the lessons I think I'm getting, are much harsher than I realize.
That's what's tough; knowing the lesson.
My life can be described in one sentence:
It didn't go as planned.
Some of us are born into harsher realities than others, but I believe that makes us all a bit stronger and we fight harder for what we want to achieve.
But somehow, after fighting for so long, I feel like I've just kind of given up.
I went to college, got a job, made a few significant changes in my life and in my surroundings.
But lately, I've started to lose my drive, my hope for more, my motivation for not only a better lifestyle for myself, but a better world.
My favorite thing about working with kids is that they have such big dreams.
They want to be doctors, firefighters, superheroes.....
Kids view the world as a giant playground, and all they want to do is see and taste everything--even the things they probably shouldn't taste.
I wonder about this room, this house, this town, this state, and the world I am in.
I think about who I am and what I'm doing.
In those moments, before I completely grasp my purpose, I'm hopeful for what I could be. I start to think about the dreams I have for myself and all the people that have touched my life. And I feel completely relaxed, knowing there are always endless possibilities for how my life could go.
Sadly, after those few seconds, the turmoil of my messy life comes back to me and I remember the reality I live in. A place where every dream takes money, and earning that is hard.
A place where not everyone believes in me or has faith in my abilities.
A place where equality is only truly driven by the few, while the many accept society for what it is.
A place where dating is just as painful as being single.
A place where education comes at a cost, and for me- a true struggle.
I look at the reality of my life and the dreams I have, and I just feel stuck.
I want everything to carry a meaning.
Every person to be significant.
Every situation to be a lesson.
And sometimes, it just.....isn't.
I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, but sometimes the reason isn't what I think.
Sometimes the lessons I think I'm getting, are much harsher than I realize.
That's what's tough; knowing the lesson.
My life can be described in one sentence:
It didn't go as planned.
Some of us are born into harsher realities than others, but I believe that makes us all a bit stronger and we fight harder for what we want to achieve.
But somehow, after fighting for so long, I feel like I've just kind of given up.
I went to college, got a job, made a few significant changes in my life and in my surroundings.
But lately, I've started to lose my drive, my hope for more, my motivation for not only a better lifestyle for myself, but a better world.
My favorite thing about working with kids is that they have such big dreams.
They want to be doctors, firefighters, superheroes.....
Kids view the world as a giant playground, and all they want to do is see and taste everything--even the things they probably shouldn't taste.
In their eyes, even the grey things are colorful.
I was watching this video from an Always ad campaign called Like a Girl
In the video, they ask young girls what it means to do things "like a girl"; like running, hitting, etc.
The young girls demonstrated how they would do it, just a normal person running or swinging a bat.
Then, when adult women were asked the same questions, they began running, very daintily, and used silly hand gestures to demonstrate being the societal version of "girlie".
What I found to be the most incredible part of this was that the young girls truly believed that their version of being a "girl" was to be strong and to be fighters. They did not dumb themselves down or act weak. Instead, they went at things full-force, because they believed they could.
As girls, when do we stop believing in ourselves?
When do we stop becoming fighters?
This video absolutely killed me.
It's not just another feminist video about how society dumbs us down and insults us.......
I was watching this video from an Always ad campaign called Like a Girl
In the video, they ask young girls what it means to do things "like a girl"; like running, hitting, etc.
The young girls demonstrated how they would do it, just a normal person running or swinging a bat.
Then, when adult women were asked the same questions, they began running, very daintily, and used silly hand gestures to demonstrate being the societal version of "girlie".
What I found to be the most incredible part of this was that the young girls truly believed that their version of being a "girl" was to be strong and to be fighters. They did not dumb themselves down or act weak. Instead, they went at things full-force, because they believed they could.
As girls, when do we stop believing in ourselves?
When do we stop becoming fighters?
This video absolutely killed me.
It's not just another feminist video about how society dumbs us down and insults us.......
though that is definitely a fair point.
As G.D. Anderson says, "Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength."
However, the point I am making, is when do we, meaning everyone, stop believing in ourselves and become content with the life we're in?
More importantly, when did I start losing my drive?
There was a time when I believed I could do anything and my self confidence took me everywhere.
Now, I feel like I'm becoming even more vulnerable, and the more bitterness in the world I taste, the more insecure I become.
I so often get irritated when things don't go my way or when they take longer than I'd hoped.
I grow impatient and angry, and I have a strong need to control literally everything.But what I've come to realize is that you can't rush the things you want to last forever.
Mahatma Ghandi once said,
"In a gentle way, you can shake the world."
That's what I want to do.
Shake the world.
I want to make a difference, not only for myself, but for others too.
I feel like that's our purpose.
We grow up in school learning lessons and taking tests, but when we're finally done, we realize that life is just the opposite; we get tests to learn our lessons.
That's a pretty hard thing to embrace.
We let the image of what we think our life should look like, keep us from actually getting anywhere. We focus on what everyone has and where they're going, which only leaves us further behind. A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms.
And that's what we forget to do.
We keep looking around, watching everyone else grow and change, and we forget to embrace our own beauty, and just let our flowers bloom. The only person we should ever try to be better than, is the one we were yesterday. And the people that have true beauty are the ones who see the beauty in everyone else.
As G.D. Anderson says, "Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength."
However, the point I am making, is when do we, meaning everyone, stop believing in ourselves and become content with the life we're in?
More importantly, when did I start losing my drive?
There was a time when I believed I could do anything and my self confidence took me everywhere.
Now, I feel like I'm becoming even more vulnerable, and the more bitterness in the world I taste, the more insecure I become.
I so often get irritated when things don't go my way or when they take longer than I'd hoped.
I grow impatient and angry, and I have a strong need to control literally everything.But what I've come to realize is that you can't rush the things you want to last forever.
Mahatma Ghandi once said,
"In a gentle way, you can shake the world."
That's what I want to do.
Shake the world.
I want to make a difference, not only for myself, but for others too.
I feel like that's our purpose.
We grow up in school learning lessons and taking tests, but when we're finally done, we realize that life is just the opposite; we get tests to learn our lessons.
That's a pretty hard thing to embrace.
We let the image of what we think our life should look like, keep us from actually getting anywhere. We focus on what everyone has and where they're going, which only leaves us further behind. A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms.
And that's what we forget to do.
We keep looking around, watching everyone else grow and change, and we forget to embrace our own beauty, and just let our flowers bloom. The only person we should ever try to be better than, is the one we were yesterday. And the people that have true beauty are the ones who see the beauty in everyone else.
When we focus on our problems, we'll only have more of them, but when we focus on possibilities, all we'll have are opportunities.
The main issue in gaining that perspective, is the pain our lives often fall into.
But pain doesn't just show up for no reason.
It's a sign that something in our lives needs to change, or that we need to move forward.
We take our lesson, and we go.
Because if today is the worst day of our life, then I guess tomorrow will be better.
We have to learn to be humble enough to know we're not better than anyone else, and wise enough to know that we're different from the rest.
It's about confidence and faith.
It's about being the right kind of selfish, and not at all conceited.
We have to learn to be grateful for our struggles, because through them, we stumble upon our strength.
Everyone has a life full of baggage, but it's never the load that breaks us down, it's how we carry it.
Honesty is hard, and sometimes it's easier to keep it inside because we think others can't handle it.
But we owe it not only to ourselves, but also to other people to just lay it all out.
When we truly care for people, their mistakes never change how we feel, because its the mind that gets angry, and the heart that does the caring.
So if someone takes judgement upon our honesty, it doesn't reflect our character- it reflects theirs.
Life is about respecting everyone, even if they don't deserve it.
Because that reflects our character.
We have to learn to look for rainbows when it rains and look for the stars when it's dark.
We have to learn to raise our words, instead of our voice.
We have to learn to say "no", without an explanation or feeling guilty.
And we have to remember who we were, before the world told us who we should be.
And as for the people in our lives:
Time decides who we meet.
Our hearts decide who we want.
And overall, our behavior decides who we keep.
So after today,
We will stop analyzing the past, stop planning for the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens.
We'll have drive and motivation, but let the world work its magic.
We'll fall in love with everyone who shows us their souls, and embrace the rawness of true emotion. We will speak our words as if they're tattooed on our skin for all to see.
We will stop listening to reply, and listen to understand.
We will stop laying our self esteem in the hands of others.
Because, our lives don't always go as planned, and that's the best thing about it.
There's always beauty in the reverie, and that stuff can always come true, if we just try.
Doubt kills dreams more than failure ever will.
Live in the moments of hope, from those quiet, fluttering eyelashes that first come in the morning.
Because life is like the ocean.
It can be calm or still, and rough or rigid,
but in the end, it's always beautiful.
Our hearts decide who we want.
And overall, our behavior decides who we keep.
So after today,
We will stop analyzing the past, stop planning for the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens.
We'll have drive and motivation, but let the world work its magic.
We'll fall in love with everyone who shows us their souls, and embrace the rawness of true emotion. We will speak our words as if they're tattooed on our skin for all to see.
We will stop listening to reply, and listen to understand.
We will stop laying our self esteem in the hands of others.
Because, our lives don't always go as planned, and that's the best thing about it.
There's always beauty in the reverie, and that stuff can always come true, if we just try.
Doubt kills dreams more than failure ever will.
Live in the moments of hope, from those quiet, fluttering eyelashes that first come in the morning.
Because life is like the ocean.
It can be calm or still, and rough or rigid,
but in the end, it's always beautiful.
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