But really....I'm fat
The world is made up of shapes. Early on, we look at circles and triangles and squares, and as we get older the shapes become more complex, like hexagons, octagons, or trapezoids. The world becomes bigger, less recognizable, and everything starts to take a different shape. We take a different shape.
I remember when I first started to "take shape" when I was in grade school. Suddenly bras were necessary, and I was no longer this flat figure. I developed curvature to the rectangular figure I'd always been, and I started to become more complex.
Since then, I've continued to grow and change into different shapes, adding curves in different areas, losing some in others. I've gained weight and lost weight and gained it back. I've gained muscle mass and have become weaker in other areas. I just keep changing. Everyday. All the time.
Recently, I was told by two individuals (both of the male persuasion, but surely that's coincidence....), that I was a "bigger girl". I contemplated this. I'm a "bigger girl", but really it was like saying I'm fat. My friends immediately became offended by this statement and kept reassuring me that I look great and I'm not fat, etc, etc. However, they didn't call me fat. They called me a "bigger girl", which I guess could mean a variety of things. I could be tall, which I'm not. I could be chubby. I could be thick. I could have bigger legs. I could have a bigger bust (nailed it on that one). Or I could overall, just be "bigger" than the average supermodel.....not exactly hard to accomplish.
Over the last few days I've really contemplated this statement of being a "bigger girl". One guy meant it to be insulting and was hoping to really strike a cord there, but what was the reaction I was supposed to give? Cry? Feel massively offended? Go eat a twinkie? Starve myself for 8 days? Start exercising 24-7? What did he hope to gain with that comment? I mean I could totally cry about it, but oh wait, I don't care! Though, I'm not going to lie, I kinda hope he chokes on his spit the next time he talks to a girl, but I'm not going to lose sleep or take pain from an ignorant (or simply clueless) comment.
The other person who made this comment was merely a victim of pure obliviousness and a bad word choice. For him, he was simply describing what he saw.
Which in all honesty is completely fair.
I am a bigger girl. And hey, maybe that means I'm a bit fat. Either way, I'm totally cool with it.
I do not have a bikini body.
I have stretch marks.
I have a very large bust (though really that's a gene pool thing that I can't avoid. Thank you Palmers.)
I have thick thighs.
I have a round face.
And I'm heavy.
SO. WHAT.
I have managed to stay the same weight for roughly a year, with only small fluxes.
Now if I were massively gaining weight all the time or was having serious health issues, then I might be concerned. But I'm healthy. Heavy, but healthy.
I do not have a strong desire to be carried around or to become a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, so I think I'm doing okay.
Thing is, we put too much pressure on body image and being "fit" that I think we forget how to be comfortable in our own skin. We get so touchy and insecure and feel so offended when we hear things like "curvy" or "bigger", and there was a time when, I too, was offended by these things.
However, we are all different shapes and mine is forever changing. To be offended by a description, would be silly.
I'm not a size two, and I'm too heavy to carry, but I can live with that.
I'm strong, muscular in parts, flexible in others, and I may struggle with some things, but I'm not built to do EVERYTHING and neither are you.
Shopping can be a frustrating challenge and there are certainly stores that I can't buy clothes in, but I buy clothes to fit MY body, not the other way around.
Sure, it's frustrating sometimes and it irritates me to my core that Lane Bryant is literally one of the only places I can buy bras, but it's manageable and at least there's a store that carries what I need.
When there stops being places I can buy clothes that fit, that's when I'll start being concerned.
And ladies, please, Please, PLEASE listen to me.
Your shape is YOURS. Don't let a description upset you, even if it's meant to.
Your body is all your own and if someone can't appreciate it, then it's time to move on.
I have met many men who have delivered compliment after compliment about how I look, and have, quite embarrassingly, vocally appreciated me.
There will always be people who find you attractive, but you have to accept your shape before you can expect other people to.
So, I'm a bigger girl, but really.......I'm fat.
But I'm not upset about it.
Because it doesn't matter.
I hate going to the gym and eating lettuce.
I like carbs and pizza and my idea of working out is playing with toddlers or going to yoga twice a week.
I like my lifestyle and I like my shape.
So if you disagree, get over it. I certainly have.
I remember when I first started to "take shape" when I was in grade school. Suddenly bras were necessary, and I was no longer this flat figure. I developed curvature to the rectangular figure I'd always been, and I started to become more complex.
Since then, I've continued to grow and change into different shapes, adding curves in different areas, losing some in others. I've gained weight and lost weight and gained it back. I've gained muscle mass and have become weaker in other areas. I just keep changing. Everyday. All the time.
Recently, I was told by two individuals (both of the male persuasion, but surely that's coincidence....), that I was a "bigger girl". I contemplated this. I'm a "bigger girl", but really it was like saying I'm fat. My friends immediately became offended by this statement and kept reassuring me that I look great and I'm not fat, etc, etc. However, they didn't call me fat. They called me a "bigger girl", which I guess could mean a variety of things. I could be tall, which I'm not. I could be chubby. I could be thick. I could have bigger legs. I could have a bigger bust (nailed it on that one). Or I could overall, just be "bigger" than the average supermodel.....not exactly hard to accomplish.
Over the last few days I've really contemplated this statement of being a "bigger girl". One guy meant it to be insulting and was hoping to really strike a cord there, but what was the reaction I was supposed to give? Cry? Feel massively offended? Go eat a twinkie? Starve myself for 8 days? Start exercising 24-7? What did he hope to gain with that comment? I mean I could totally cry about it, but oh wait, I don't care! Though, I'm not going to lie, I kinda hope he chokes on his spit the next time he talks to a girl, but I'm not going to lose sleep or take pain from an ignorant (or simply clueless) comment.
The other person who made this comment was merely a victim of pure obliviousness and a bad word choice. For him, he was simply describing what he saw.
Which in all honesty is completely fair.
I am a bigger girl. And hey, maybe that means I'm a bit fat. Either way, I'm totally cool with it.
I do not have a bikini body.
I have stretch marks.
I have a very large bust (though really that's a gene pool thing that I can't avoid. Thank you Palmers.)
I have thick thighs.
I have a round face.
And I'm heavy.
SO. WHAT.
I have managed to stay the same weight for roughly a year, with only small fluxes.
Now if I were massively gaining weight all the time or was having serious health issues, then I might be concerned. But I'm healthy. Heavy, but healthy.
I do not have a strong desire to be carried around or to become a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, so I think I'm doing okay.
Thing is, we put too much pressure on body image and being "fit" that I think we forget how to be comfortable in our own skin. We get so touchy and insecure and feel so offended when we hear things like "curvy" or "bigger", and there was a time when, I too, was offended by these things.
However, we are all different shapes and mine is forever changing. To be offended by a description, would be silly.
I'm not a size two, and I'm too heavy to carry, but I can live with that.
I'm strong, muscular in parts, flexible in others, and I may struggle with some things, but I'm not built to do EVERYTHING and neither are you.
Shopping can be a frustrating challenge and there are certainly stores that I can't buy clothes in, but I buy clothes to fit MY body, not the other way around.
Sure, it's frustrating sometimes and it irritates me to my core that Lane Bryant is literally one of the only places I can buy bras, but it's manageable and at least there's a store that carries what I need.
When there stops being places I can buy clothes that fit, that's when I'll start being concerned.
And ladies, please, Please, PLEASE listen to me.
Your shape is YOURS. Don't let a description upset you, even if it's meant to.
Your body is all your own and if someone can't appreciate it, then it's time to move on.
I have met many men who have delivered compliment after compliment about how I look, and have, quite embarrassingly, vocally appreciated me.
There will always be people who find you attractive, but you have to accept your shape before you can expect other people to.
So, I'm a bigger girl, but really.......I'm fat.
But I'm not upset about it.
Because it doesn't matter.
I hate going to the gym and eating lettuce.
I like carbs and pizza and my idea of working out is playing with toddlers or going to yoga twice a week.
I like my lifestyle and I like my shape.
So if you disagree, get over it. I certainly have.
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