To my best friend, after the breakup

Going through a breakup can be extremely difficult.
It’s as if you lost a limb. You have to constantly change your routine, giving up the constant communication of texting, calling, snapchatting, or instant messaging your significant other.
And every day you feel different, like you’re slowly losing yourself more and more.
You constantly think back on happier times and the memories that will now haunt you, and you physically hurt. You feel the pain deep in your bones.

And you can’t face that loss alone.
You need someone to be there while you cry and drink and cry some more, and although it can be super irritating to listen to someone go on and on about the same thing for months, your best friend is there to see you through it.

What I’ve learned through my own break ups and losses of all those potential loves and almosts, is that only you truly know what’s best for you. Your friends can give you advice and pick you up when you’ve fallen too hard, but the only one who knows anything about your emotions is you, and you should always trust your gut. Always.

I have seen many friends through their breakups and it never gets easier. Never.
Nothing is worse than having to watch your friend hurting and not being able to take away that pain.
I have held hands, hugged broken bodies, wiped tears, delivered encouraging words, poured drinks, and been on a hundred shopping trips in hopes of reviving those broken souls that I care about most.
I am always there to pick up whatever pieces you break into, and I hope you know all the things I see in you…

You are brave.

You learned to love so freely and openly and you gave your partner your all. You took life by the reigns and you went for it.

You are caring.

Even though your heart is completely shattered and you’re hurting so bad you can barely eat, you still worry about your ex-partner. You worry about what they’re doing, if they’re okay. Are they going to work? Are they eating? Your thoughts are constantly consumed with their well-being, despite anything they may have put you through.

You are strong.

Even though you may not feel like it, you ARE making it through this. You’re going to work and moving forward with your life and I’m so damn proud of you. You might not feel like it, but you’re doing it. You’re REALLY doing it.

You’re worth loving.

Every time a relationship fails, it’s easy to wonder what you did wrong, but know that it’s never a failure. Some people aren’t meant for one another. Maybe you can’t meet each other’s needs or the timing is off. No matter why the relationship ended, know that you are ALWAYS worth it.

You deserve better.

Sometimes at the end of a relationship, you try to make compromises to avoid losing the other person. You try to concede and sacrifice things in order to save it. You make excuses for your partner’s behavior and start blaming yourself. It’s okay to recognize your own faults, and to even learn from them, but don’t ever let yourself believe that you broke this. You are one half of a broken relationship and if your partner didn’t do right by you, someone else will.

You can learn from this.

I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. Maybe it’s not all predetermined and planned, but I believe that everything makes us better. Any relationship can be a heavy loss and some might even take years to get over, but never regret the experience. Maybe it was the first person you could truly open up to, or maybe you had kids together. Maybe they were your first love or the only person you ever really cared about. No matter what, they meant something to you and will always hold a special place in your heart. And one day you’re going to feel okay. You’re going to heal from it and be whole again and find happiness in other things, and when that day comes, you’ll be able to look back and see how much you gained from this person. Maybe the breakup pushed you into trying new things or moving to a new area, or maybe it pissed you off enough that you joined a gym or went back to school. Whatever happened through it all, you’re better for it.

You can handle anything.

After a breakup, everyone feels it necessary to insert their opinion. Maybe they’re upset you broke up with your partner, or perhaps they’re glad and they feel like they need to trash talk your ex. Either way, you’re catching a lot of flak from all sides. And it sucks. It really REALLY sucks. If you still love your ex, hearing all this just makes the entire thing more complicated, and I’m sure at times you wish they’d call you and beg for you to come back and you’d do just that. You’d run right back to them because your heart is still in it. But only you know what’s best. I trust your judgement and I’ll hold my tongue. Obviously no one wants their friend to get hurt and that’s why people butt in and trash talk people’s paramours, but you have to learn to navigate through the chatter. Maybe your friends are right and they are a bad partner, or maybe they’re wrong. I don’t know. At the end of the day, I know you’ve got this.

To my beautiful best friend, you’ve got this. You are smart and funny and caring and loving and strong and you are always someone I’d want in my corner. I hate that your heart has ever had to be broken, but know that it won’t always be cracked, and until then, I am here. Always here. ❤️‍

Just don't forget to let it go when you're ready...