Diaries of the Windshield Wiper Suicide
March 25th, 2010
So I decided that despite all of this horrible rain and strong winds I was going to go see my friend, Jaimi. She went into the hospital today to be induced and although she still had a while to go before she had her baby boy, I wanted to see her even if the baby wasn't ready.
I grabbed my keys and headed out the door. The rain was pretty awful and the winds were pretty rough, but I just popped a cd in, turned up my radio, and headed out of town. Things were going pretty smooth for a while and then I started hydroplaning so I decided to slow it down.
A little while later I hydroplaned again. Great, awesome, love my life. I slow down AGAIN!
After about 20 minutes of driving and some very heavy rain my left windshield wiper decides to take a suicide mission off of my windshield. Great. This is just fantastic. Who doesn't love not being able to see and having to pull over in the pouring rain?
So I pull over and fix it and try to wedge it down so it won't do it again. Riiiight like that's gonna work! Luckily my right wiper still worked perfectly fine. I continue to pull over every couple of minutes and finally decide that I'm only gonna turn them on when I ABSOLUTELY cannot make out anything on the road. So I do that for about 4 minutes and it does it again. After already pulling over about 8 times I get out to fix it again. As I'm standing there in the pouring rain I see a semi. Then I look at the huge puddle, which could almost be considered a small pond at this point, standing on the road. Then I look back at the semi. Does he slow down? Of course not! So there's no longer any standing water on the road at this point. It has all relocated to my clothes. Yep! Wet jeans, wet hoody, wet jacket! Mmm my favorite!
After this incident I decided that I wasn't gonna pull over any more! This was getting absolutely ridiculous. So I get in the car, scoot my butt to the far right side of my seat, buckle up, brace my right arm in the seat next to me and begin making my way again, this time viewing my windshield from the passenger side. At this point I was only about 5 minutes outside of Olney so I didn't have much more to go. I finally get to the hospital to see Jaimi, wet clothes and all. I was pleased that the semi only got one side of my body wet, but was quickly disappointed when I got out of my car and realized that my jacket was soaked and I had been partially sitting on it which then made my backside drenched as well. I was not a happy camper.
I kept asking people if they had anything I could tighten my windshield wipers with (not that I'd know what to use), but everyone told me no. After asking a bunch of guys at the hospital (let's face it, they know more about cars than most girls), I decided to make my journey home without fixing them. It wasn't raining quite as hard so I made the plan to only turn them on briefly when absolutely necessary. I knew I couldn't really do anything, but I refused to admit defeat.
I drove for a good 10 minutes before my wiper gave out on me once again, but if you know me when misfortune strikes I don't give up I just get creative. I once again scoot as far to the right as I can, brace my arm in the seat, and begin driving from an awkward leaning position. I drove that way for 15 minutes before stopping again because my arm hurt. When I finally made it to the crossroads where I stopped the rain had calmed down enough to only need my wipers every once in a while. I turned them on every few minutes when necessary all the way back to Albion. When I got to Albion I turned them on full speed to see if they were okay and they worked perfectly fine. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Sure now they decide to work just fine, after all my hard work!
So after almost getting stuck in the mud while pulling over, getting drenched by a semi, fearing I'd run off the road because I couldn't see, and getting a cramp in my arm from leaning on it, I have now learned my lesson. I will now carry a ratchet set in my car at ALL times!
When I got home I made Kaelen go out and not only fix my wipers, but show me how to do it so I'd be prepared if there's ever a next time. And with me, let's face it, there's ALWAYS a next time with unfortunate events!
So I decided that despite all of this horrible rain and strong winds I was going to go see my friend, Jaimi. She went into the hospital today to be induced and although she still had a while to go before she had her baby boy, I wanted to see her even if the baby wasn't ready.
I grabbed my keys and headed out the door. The rain was pretty awful and the winds were pretty rough, but I just popped a cd in, turned up my radio, and headed out of town. Things were going pretty smooth for a while and then I started hydroplaning so I decided to slow it down.
A little while later I hydroplaned again. Great, awesome, love my life. I slow down AGAIN!
After about 20 minutes of driving and some very heavy rain my left windshield wiper decides to take a suicide mission off of my windshield. Great. This is just fantastic. Who doesn't love not being able to see and having to pull over in the pouring rain?
So I pull over and fix it and try to wedge it down so it won't do it again. Riiiight like that's gonna work! Luckily my right wiper still worked perfectly fine. I continue to pull over every couple of minutes and finally decide that I'm only gonna turn them on when I ABSOLUTELY cannot make out anything on the road. So I do that for about 4 minutes and it does it again. After already pulling over about 8 times I get out to fix it again. As I'm standing there in the pouring rain I see a semi. Then I look at the huge puddle, which could almost be considered a small pond at this point, standing on the road. Then I look back at the semi. Does he slow down? Of course not! So there's no longer any standing water on the road at this point. It has all relocated to my clothes. Yep! Wet jeans, wet hoody, wet jacket! Mmm my favorite!
After this incident I decided that I wasn't gonna pull over any more! This was getting absolutely ridiculous. So I get in the car, scoot my butt to the far right side of my seat, buckle up, brace my right arm in the seat next to me and begin making my way again, this time viewing my windshield from the passenger side. At this point I was only about 5 minutes outside of Olney so I didn't have much more to go. I finally get to the hospital to see Jaimi, wet clothes and all. I was pleased that the semi only got one side of my body wet, but was quickly disappointed when I got out of my car and realized that my jacket was soaked and I had been partially sitting on it which then made my backside drenched as well. I was not a happy camper.
I kept asking people if they had anything I could tighten my windshield wipers with (not that I'd know what to use), but everyone told me no. After asking a bunch of guys at the hospital (let's face it, they know more about cars than most girls), I decided to make my journey home without fixing them. It wasn't raining quite as hard so I made the plan to only turn them on briefly when absolutely necessary. I knew I couldn't really do anything, but I refused to admit defeat.
I drove for a good 10 minutes before my wiper gave out on me once again, but if you know me when misfortune strikes I don't give up I just get creative. I once again scoot as far to the right as I can, brace my arm in the seat, and begin driving from an awkward leaning position. I drove that way for 15 minutes before stopping again because my arm hurt. When I finally made it to the crossroads where I stopped the rain had calmed down enough to only need my wipers every once in a while. I turned them on every few minutes when necessary all the way back to Albion. When I got to Albion I turned them on full speed to see if they were okay and they worked perfectly fine. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Sure now they decide to work just fine, after all my hard work!
So after almost getting stuck in the mud while pulling over, getting drenched by a semi, fearing I'd run off the road because I couldn't see, and getting a cramp in my arm from leaning on it, I have now learned my lesson. I will now carry a ratchet set in my car at ALL times!
When I got home I made Kaelen go out and not only fix my wipers, but show me how to do it so I'd be prepared if there's ever a next time. And with me, let's face it, there's ALWAYS a next time with unfortunate events!
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