A letter to myself: Here’s to 25

Alyssa:

You’re turning 25 now, in just a few weeks. 

The world is different. Sometimes it’s colder, more isolated. Other days you’re overwhelmed with the amount of people who filter through your life. But don’t take any of these days for granted. Don’t waste your time worrying about the future or stressing over the things you hoped to accomplish by now. You’re here and even though “here” might not be where you’d hoped to be, it’s still a good place.

There are going to be people who walk into your life and walk right back out, but don’t waste your life crying over the ones who didn’t make it to every chapter. Be thankful for the role they played in your story. 

You’re learning to adapt to new situations and new types of pain. Unfortunately these are going to be things that you’ll continue to navigate throughout your life. No one is perfect. Least of all you. But don’t let these moments of truth ruin you. Learn from them. Grow. Let them change you. Do not become fixated on living out your “perfect plan”. Don’t waste your days being sad over the “would be’s” and “could have been’s”. Be thankful for who you are in this very moment. 

Never take things too personally. Cry when you need to, but don’t let sadness encapsulate all your days. Don’t put your happiness in someone else’s hands. You can’t make houses out of people. Everyone has a place, but never inside of someone else. Know that you are always enough. 

Do not spend time wondering if you’re the kind of girl people will hurt. If you’re given a car alarm heart, learn to sing along. Take it. Learn from it. Never stop loving freely. Love your job. Love those kids. Love your friends. Know that love doesn’t fix things. Sometimes it brings you flowers, but it also builds coffins. Love might sink, but hope floats. Live off of faith.

Never be afraid of a new journey. Pick a school in a different city. Leave your comfort zone. Make new friends. You don’t have to create a new life, but you can build onto it somewhere else. Don’t be afraid of a new adventure. You’re young, you’ve barely lived a quarter of your life. Don’t waste your time worrying over milestones or where everyone else lands at “25”. Marriage and kids don’t always make a life. Having friends, a job, a place to sleep at night. Those are things that make up your day. 

Date. Get to know people. Put yourself out there. Stop being afraid of what might happen if it crumbles. Don’t be afraid of stuffing your secrets into someone else’s pockets. Put your trust in people. Don’t spend your life waiting for the other shoe to drop. Don’t let your insecurity or fear keep you from truly seeing or feeling.

 

Know that no matter where you end up or who you meet along the way that you are always worth knowing. Your friends will miss you. Your family will miss you. Those kids will miss you. People care about you, always. Don’t forget about the friends who wiped away your tears or let you spend hours venting about the same things over and over. Don’t forget the friends who called to check on you or showed up unannounced to make your day better. Never forget how much you mean to these people, even on the days when the silence screams and you feel alone. Just because someone stops saying they love you or they care doesn’t mean they actually stopped caring or loving you. Don’t let self-doubt create a need for validation.

Embrace 25 like it’s the beginning. Move forward without hesitation. Be thankful for everything that has happened on your journey and all the people that brought you here. Tell people you love them. Show them. Care deeply. Don’t forget to take a breath when you need it. And know that you’ve got this. Always. Here’s to another year. 

Run with it.