just alyssa

Being a feminist is one of the most challenging and rewarding things I have going in my life. I remember being in high school and slowly starting to put together my ideas of independence and refusing to date, literally just to make a statement. I wanted to be seen as a strong individual who didn't follow social norms and date, just to date. Because, in my mind, dating was reserved for when you really knew what you wanted. And for me, I wanted to explore the world, and I just didn't see a guy worth the trouble when I was 16. As I've gotten older, I've struggled with my thoughts on feminism, mixed with my love for a good romance. That's the hard part about being a female AND being a feminist. It's like we're hot-wired to love certain things. I love flowers, cheesy romance music, love letters, holding hands, etc. I love the beautiful idea of a good love story and being courted. I love the excitement of meeting a new guy and waiting by...

The world is made up of shapes. Early on, we look at circles and triangles and squares, and as we get older the shapes become more complex, like hexagons,  octagons, or trapezoids. The world becomes bigger, less recognizable, and everything starts to take a different shape. We take a different shape. I remember when I first started to "take shape" when I was in grade school. Suddenly bras were necessary, and I was no longer this flat figure. I developed curvature to the rectangular figure I'd always been, and I started to become more complex. Since then, I've continued to grow and change into different shapes, adding curves in different areas, losing some in others. I've gained weight and lost weight and gained it back. I've gained muscle mass and have become weaker in other areas. I just keep changing. Everyday. All the time. Recently, I was told by two individuals (both of the male persuasion, but surely that's coincidence....), that I was a "...

Every day I go to work, I am reminded that I am not a mother. I spend countless hours listening to the phrase "Do you have children?" and am immediately struck down when that answer is "no". It's often followed with an "Are you married?" or "Do you have a boyfriend?". It's like somehow knowing I am a human being capable of loving another person, makes it easier to do my job- like I'd be better at it. But you know what?  It doesn't . It doesn't make me better. Loving someone else. Getting married. Having children. It does not make me a better person. It doesn't fulfill my life. It doesn't give me some better insight in how to do my job. I know- you'd like to disagree.  You'd like to tell me that I'm wrong and try to play devil's advocate. But here's why I'm right. Children are human beings, just like you and me. They are people- just smaller. They have needs and desires. They want love a...