".....did I really think I could ninja kick someone into oblivian?"

So according to my parents, I am a great story teller and this was a story worth telling. Now being that they're MY parents, I'm guessing that we have a little situational bias going on [because I AM the favorite of course] (;

Well anyway, here it is.I babysat all day on Saturday and I had not been home. I was anxious to get home and relax so to achieve my full relaxation of being home alone (as Sydney was gone for the weekend) I decided that would be the perfect time for dinner and a movie with myself!

First step, FAMILY VIDEO!Now those of you that know me know that I am OBSESSED, I mean OBSESSED with movies. And even more so, I'm obsessed with HORROR movies! I'm always dying to see a new one. In that, I've really enjoyed the paranormal activity movies and I had yet to see the third. And even better, Sydney would be gone. Now normally I'd wait and watch it with her, but Sydney has a need to freak me out whenever we watch movies or shows about paranormal events. She's convinced that they're "natural" and somehow she is not terrified by the thought of things moving around us. She is more the kind of person who is scared of an attacker who is an actual person. Well, I'm the opposite. I'd rather ninja kick some guy in a hoody than try to defend myself from an opposing force who is just air. Well put, I'd say.

Next on my list, CHINESE!! Probably my second favorite thing besides movies. What more could I ask for? This had the makings to be the perfect night.

Well I finally arrived home with my great smelling chinese and dvd when I realized that I hadn't turned the porch light on or any lights in the house. Grreeeat. I waddled my way to the door with a bag in one hand and my chinese and dvd in the other. It seemed like it took me 12 years just to get the key into the lock.

When I finally made it inside (which really only took like a decade) something across the house caught my eye. Apparently it caught Kryton's eye as well as he stared at it angrily while growling. I looked at the basement light that was shining through the door into my kitchen. Considering the fact that I had not been home all day, the light could not have been turned on by me. Then who?

Although there was the light shining into the kitchen the rest of the house was still pitch black. I was squinting and looking for a place to put down my stuff as I tripped over our basket of shoes searching for the light. Then I finally got to the light and......nothing...nada. No light. It was completely burned out. I was trying to keep my cool as I stood there frozen. The other light was all the way across the room and I tried so hard to keep my calm as I tiptoed, afraid to make a sound. I kept searching in my bag for my phone, but it WASN'T THERE??? Where did it go??? Falling further into panic, I quickly turned on the light, still afraid to make a sound. I still couldn't find my phone and Kryton was still growling.

Now in this situation the smart thing would probably have been to run outside and scream like a chicken with their head cut off (well I guess chickens don't scream, but you get the point.) But instead, here's what I did.I called for Kryton to come with me to the basement, so naturally he gave up and went and laid on the couch. Because everyone knows that when you're about to be hacked up into a million pieces by a murderer, the best place to be is napping on the couch. Sorry I didn't get the memo!

Continuing on....I tiptoed very cautiously into the basement. Once I got to the bottom step I realized that I had forgotten to grab a weapon! What was I thinking? I mean, I know I have some mad skills, but did I really think I could karate chop someone into oblivion? Well I guess I had no choice.

My arms were ready to fight as I wondered around our dimly lit basement praying I wouldn't find anything. Then ??? What was that? A sound from upstairs?? GREAT THE KILLER IS UPSTAIRS AND I'M STUCK IN THIS STUPID BASEMENT?!?!?!?! Good thing I didn't get the couch memo!Finally I made it upstairs and turned on each light as I walked through and I just kept thinking to myself, WHY DOES THIS HOUSE HAVE SO MANY ROOMS??? I ninja kicked each door and pressed on.

When I got to the last closet I decided I was probably safe so I went back to the living room and looked at my sleeping dog. I realized I was probably being over-dramatic and ridiculous and I decided to go out and look for my phone, and what do I see? In all of that chaos did I lock the front door?? Now I can't even remember! Did I lock it or did that murderous freak unlock the door when he ran out of the house???

*sigh*

Night officially ruined, guess who did NOT watch paranormal activity 3?

dramatic? kinda. neurotic? maybe a little. paranoid???...........absolutely NOT

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