just alyssa

I loved you. And I never really understood how much that word weighed until I started carrying it in my pockets. I marveled at how it sunk deep into my vocabulary and took over every syllable left in my mouth. I tried so hard to plan out the confession and the speech I would deliver to you so beautifully. But that word, with all its weight, foiled those plans. Things changed quicker than I could exhale a breath. I was in the middle, before I saw it all begin. And that’s how fast love happens. It doesn’t politely knock on your door, or mail itself to you in an envelope, waiting to be opened. It just storms through your life and steals you. And then… On the phone, hours into a cool September night, I stuttered to you. I said your name. You were rambling and I had long stopped listening. In my head, all I heard was my own thoughts I love you, I love you, I love you. I said your name again. You stopped. A pause. A breath for me to deliver something eloquent. A...

From the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were special. A scruffy, underweight 2 year old, with a skiddish demeanor and warm brown eyes, standing outside of a pet store with all the other rescue dogs. You came to me with slow uncertainty, but quickly warmed up to the stroke of my hand down your back. I knew once I held you, that was it for us. You were mine. You made me so nervous in the car that day, bouncing back and forth between the front and backseat. That became the first of many roadtrips for us and you learned to lay claim to the front seat. I always felt bad that I kept my music so loud in the car, but you never seemed to mind, just excited to be along for the ride.  Thinking back to all our adventures, there are so many things I never thanked you for; so much I need to say about the last 6 years. Thank you for staying up with me through all those nights in college. Thank you for always finding ways to make me smile, even in my most stre...

Another terrible love poem... I don’t know what to tell you: other than the heart of a giraffe weighs 22 pounds, and that when penguins find a mate, they stay together for life ; and someone once told me when flies fall in love, their entire brain is rewired to only love each other, and when one of them dies, their memory becomes blank. And I know this is nothing but a string of run-on sentences, and I can’t promise the dark clouds will never hover over our lives, or that the future will be filled with rainbows. I can’t promise that things will always be easy, or that you’ll never hurt. I don’t know how much my heart weighs, or what will happen when someone dies. I know kisses aren’t contracts, and love isn’t a promise. And I know I don’t love very many things, but here are the ones I can think of: I love the first sip of coffee in the morning, and wrapping scarves around my neck when it’s cold. I love the feeling a great song invokes, and getting lost in go...