just alyssa

Optimism and Desperation are 2 extraordinarily different things, just as being lonely and alone are very different. Optimism gives us the hope that something good will come in our future, so we wait for it, and pray it's what we've always wanted. Desperation is when we're eagerly seeking ANYTHING to fulfill even a small portion of our needs. We reach out, ready to grasp on to the first thing that comes our way, becoming like leeches. There's some huge misconception that because you're not dating, haven't dated, currently single, or have been single most of (okay, all ) of your life, that somehow you're not happy. That being single makes you a one eyed creature. You're obviously completely lonely or SOMETHING has to be wrong with you. This is the only explanation people seem to have for singlehood. It couldn't possibly be that you're waiting for the right time in your life or that you have too much going on or that you're just simply no...

Selfishness: the act of concentrating on one's own advantage, excluding and having no regards for others. Lately I've been looking back at some notebooks I had from college. Some of them have notes in them from classes, others have my plans that I drew out for myself. I've always been so goal oriented, driven towards success. I had everything planned out. Go to college, get a job, save money, go to grad school, get a better job. Each thing was so incredibly monumental for the history of my life. I'm the first child in my family to go to college and receive a degree and I'm the first to go while I'm young. My parents went back to school when I was in high school, so for our family, this was a pretty huge success story. In December, I reached the peak of my life in so far. I'd done it. I'd graduated. I suffered through hard classes, no sleep, struggling financially, working 3 jobs, adjusting to roommate differences, and the peer pressures of college...

I. Am. A mess. My entire life I have been aware that I'm just a little bit different. Growing up as the middle child I always believed I had "middle child syndrome", constantly trying to break out of the crowd. For a while, I was quite shy and very quiet. I always hid behind my mom and avoided talking to people at all costs. Somehow, over the years that changed and I quickly became a loud mouth that literally could NOT stop talking. It's like my brain was so overactive all the time and I had to get all of my words out. My family tried to be patient with me, but I knew that listening to me was exhausting. I was in love with words and looked for ways to express my thoughts. I often retreated to the solitude of my bedroom and began writing anything and everything. I wrote short stories, poems, and songs. My life was spelled out through pages and pages of endless words that reflected my endless thoughts. This was always odd for a kid and I had trouble relati...

Feminist: someone who advocates political, legal, and economic rights for women equal to those of men. I've spent many hours trying to explain this very subject to people and I still get nowhere. Whether it be a guy that I am arguing with or even my own girl friends, people seem to be 100% confused about what it actually means to be a feminist. I wish there were an easy explanation, a quip of a few words that I could spat out at people so they'd literally  understand it instantly. The best version I have of that is this: EQUALITY. That's it, people. It all comes down to equality. When I say I am a "feminist" or that I share feminist values, it does not mean that I believe I am superior to men or that I'm a lesbian (those are huge misconceptions). It simply means that I believe in equal rights for everyone. The same goes for different races. I believe that women should have equal rights to men just as I believe that blacks should have equal rights t...

All day long I listen to people talk. Just endless streams of words. A list of vocabulary strung together that all serves a purpose. Communication. However, today's society has brought us into an entirely different way of communicating. We've gone from speaking out loud to saying everything via text or through the web. It's almost like we're not really talking anymore. We've become complacent. Having access to a cell phone and internet means that we really don't have to see each other or even really speak to each other anymore. “The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” -George Bernard Shaw I'm not sure when this all happened. It's been a slow development for years, which I always swore I'd never get absorbed in, but let's face it-we're all in. It's so easy to put people off and just send them a quick text or catch them on facebook late at night. We don't even have to try to talk any...

Relationships. My dear sweet friends, I regularly receive phone calls, texts, emails, and talk in person about this very complicated subject. I listen and give advice the best I can, but no one seems to be hearing me. I'll be your soundboard if that's all you need, but sometimes there are questions that are just too hard to answer via text. So-having said that, I'm going to give you my "Alyssa" version of dating rules. We all know I'm a little unconventional and most of my preposterous-stay away from the male species, rules, probably do not apply. Alas, I have adapted my very strict display into a more lax dating saga that is better to understand and will help you grasp what may be happening (male or female). Here it is. 1. Be comfortable with WHO you are. Before we can dive into a relationship, we must first understand where we stand as well as what we stand for. Being comfortable with yourself plays a huge part in a relationship. It builds confi...

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