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A speech to laugh at, a toast to cry at, and a smile to share

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Well the time has come. For some reason I thought I had more time than this, but apparently life comes faster than you think. I guess I should stop eluding the point and let you know what the heck I am referring to......OR....I could just keep rattling on about nothing just to see how far you will go, desperately seeking the point (IF I even have one). The topic is: The Wedding, or rather the Marriage of my one and only sister. I'm sitting here trying to write a speech that will blow everyone away. A speech that will be funny, charming, and romantic. A speech that briefly describes the last 20 years with my sister. How do you put into words the love and admiration that you have for someone? How does one say, "I love you and I'm happy for you" creatively? Typically, writing is not a struggle for me (obviously). I'm a speech writer, it's what I do. I don't discuss a lot of emotions face to face, but I'm great at putting them to paper. Only this time, the...

Just because a girl wears purple nail polish, that doesn't mean she's nice.

I may not date, but I that doesn't mean I don't have stalkers. Alright, so I may throw the word "stalker" around a lot and I admit I do use the term rather loosely. So let's define it.  Criminology would classify stalking as someone harassing you by phone or email or following you on numerous occasions all of which lasts a duration a minimum of 2 weeks or longer. However, MY definition is less wordy and far more clear stated if you ask me. It goes as follows: Stalker: one who creeps you out on more than one occasion; one who stands too close for comfort every time you enter the room; one who repeatedly enters your personal space while your face is signifying that you are uncomfortable, or one that repeatedly follows you around trying to strike up a conversation while you're clearing doing your best to avoid them. Pretty clear, right? I thought so. Now back to my story. In my life I have had numerous "stalkers". I'm not saying that to...

The Agony of the Driver's License Mugshot

Soo I finally decided to quit procrastinating and renew my driver's license today, since it expires tomorrow. Nothing like a little procrastination. =) I got up at the bright hour of 9 am (we all know after the week I had, I could have slept until noon). I took a shower, did my hair, picked out a cute outfit, fixed my makeup, and made my way to the DMV. I was NOT going to have a picture like the last one. You know the, "eh I'll wear sweatpants and a t-shirt-, barely touch my hair, and slap on a little makeup" look that seems to happen to everyone when they're 16, excited about getting a license, and don't think about the fact that they're going to be carrying this hideous picture in their wallet for the next 5 years. Anyway, that was NOT going to be me....again. I arrived at the DMV and much to my surprise, I did not have to wait in a huge line. I jumped right up there, filled out the proper paperwork, and made my way to the camera. Now this is the...

To dream to travel or to travel to dream??

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What if you could travel anywhere you wanted? Like you could grab a map, pick a country, and just go.... Being from a small town, I've always dreamed of moving away and traveling, even living somewhere over seas. For most people from little old Albion, they just dream of going off to school and most of them end up coming back eventually. "Traveling" is a different meaning for them. Traveling means moving a state away and going to school, maybe getting a job a few hours from home. However, I am the opposite.  Every time I see a movie and people travel, I get excited. It makes my heart race. When I watch Under the Tuscan Sun I get the urge to pack a bag and run off to Italy. I want so badly to live in a foreign country for at least a few years. I don't care if I have to learn a different language or if I have to sacrifice what I would call a more "hygienic" living. I would do it. Most of all if I were to travel, the main thing on my mind is Greece. Ever sin...

Sometimes you just need a dancing dork to be your Romeo

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I LOVE DORKS! Enough said. I've loved to dance since forever. Whether I was dancing around in gymnastics, doing a routine as a cheerleader, doing formal moves in dinner theater, or popping it on the gym floor with the dance team I've always loved it. My theory is that you don't have to be a good dancer, you just have to be entertaining. In high school we went to the UDA dance camp in Charleston  and we learned that it was all about the face . It didn't matter how bad you messed up or if you forgot the moves because your face made the show. If you smiled and had fun, people didn't care if you looked like a fool. I always thought being a dancing fool was kinda fun. I never enjoyed the more "riskay" kind of dancing that took place at school, I was more likely to bust out the "chicken wing" or some other ridiculous and embarrassing maneuver. The point wasn't to follow the crowd or to look good, it was to have fun. That's F-U-N ! Now back...

Dear Jess...

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 I may have written this over 2 years ago, but it all still holds true today. I love you Jessica. January 8th, 2010 The first night without you was the hardest. It felt wrong. Everything felt fake. As if that didn't really happen. I clung to my cell phone staring at that text message. The text message that told me what happened to you. I clung to it wishing it was wrong. Praying for it to be some stupid prank. I yelled at God. I screamed a lot. I didn't want a hug I didn't want touched. I wanted you. I was so mad at you. Mad at you for going to a stupid party. Mad at you for getting in that car. You have no idea how royally ticked off I was. That first night I had a dream about you. We were in the mall having all sorts of fun. We even got in trouble for doing things we shouldn't. We spent the day having fun and then you took my hand and told me it was time to go. You took me to this big room and all of your family and friends were there. They were st...

Diaries of the Windshield Wiper Suicide

March 25th, 2010 So I decided that despite all of this horrible rain and strong winds I was going to go see my friend, Jaimi. She went into the hospital today to be induced and although she still had a while to go before she had her baby boy, I wanted to see her even if the baby wasn't ready. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door. The rain was pretty awful and the winds were pretty rough, but I just popped a cd in, turned up my radio, and headed out of town. Things were going pretty smooth for a while and then I started hydroplaning so I decided to slow it down. A little while later I hydroplaned again. Great, awesome, love my life. I slow down AGAIN! After about 20 minutes of driving and some very heavy rain my left windshield wiper decides to take a suicide mission off of my windshield. Great. This is just fantastic. Who doesn't love not being able to see and having to pull over in the pouring rain? So I pull over and fix it and try to wedge it down ...